Sunday, March 20, 2011
Keeping this short
Its a cool spring night, likely the last of the season, and we're excitedly booking our delayed August honeymoon. We just finished writing wedding invites...definitely a lot more fun over fruity white wine. In about three weeks, we'll be married. Its going to be a beautiful wedding. Always wanted a summer wedding- having it. It'll be small. The ceremony is of 20 guests, and 45 minutes, early on Sunday morning. There's a party the night before and then one, the evening after. Love.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Weddings
All right, so it’s a month to our wedding and all was well, until I started attending some more weddings. I thought the season finished in mid-Feb, and April was a nice, dry month to get married in, but a couple of friends picked March for their weddings. And after attending these, I’m convinced, Weddings freak me out. I haven’t had a doubt about marriage and am happy to plunging in. In fact, so much that its fair to imagine me as a jungle monkey, swinging by a rope and plunging in to the water (do monkeys swim- I don’t know!).
But then its weddings….
I look forward to my own as I’m excited at the thought of all my friends converging here for a few days, me finally getting some time to take care of myself, looking pretty, and then just the fact that it’s in the summer. I love summer and I don’t know why more people don’t choose this season to get married. Georgette and Chiffon are beautiful fabrics and flatter a woman so much. That’s about my own, but what perplexes me is how insanely bored I get at other peoples weddings. From close friends, to distant cousins- its all the same. I’m made to dress up in beautiful outfits and smile like I’m enjoying myself. But I really don’t. These days its slightly better because Peepu accompanies me to share my annoyance. Earlier, when I was single, I would still go to friends’ weddings, but I used to be alone. Often, I didn’t used to know anyone there, but again, I had to go. I believe if someone invites me to some place, its almost rude to not go. So even its half hour, I need to show my face and stay just about long enough to hug my friend who’s celebrating a big day, have a glass of wine and come back. At one such event (an extremely nouveau-riche event), I knew I wouldn’t know anyone so I even took a magazine with me.
In other, though slightly topical news, I also attended a good friends’ wedding yesterday. With much hesitation, I went. I met some people I used to know, briefly, a few years back. It’s a group (my friend excluded- he’s really nice), that has me tongue tied, and almost nervous. They’re just like me in terms of their back ground and exposure but then there’s this inability to talk in me, when I’m around that lot. I finally figured out what it was and will try to articulate it here- when every statement you make has to be dripping of cool, and needs to be one which, if evaluated, could potentially make it to ‘the great list of coolest statements of all time’ – I stop to fit in. A conversation there feels like a competition in coolness. So any way, Peepu and Dad thought it was quite funny. I spent about an hour there- much of it spent guzzling beer and watching an extremely unfortunate match between India and South Africa
So you know how much I like red lips- bold, red lips? I’ve discovered fuchsia lips this spring. I’m sitting in a coffee shop, in a strappy white and brown dress, with a hot pink mouth. I love how everyone’s looking. Here’s a pic
No post is complete without an update on my job: all goes well, really busy but of late, I’ve developed a sharp interest in technology and the internet. When this stops to interest me, I’m going to get in to Tech. And I’m also going through this feeling of self-scolding. I’m upset I’m a Consultant. It’s a great job but I have no depth of expertise. So when I do decide to something else, I’ll take a 2 years hit, and join a tech firm at a slightly more inexperienced level, so I can re-learn without the fear of being constantly evaluated and in a rush to hit externally set professional milestones. Pretty good plan uh- I’m happy to have figured out a backup. Because in the short – medium term, between the firm and me, I see one of us wanting to take a break from the other.
But then its weddings….
I look forward to my own as I’m excited at the thought of all my friends converging here for a few days, me finally getting some time to take care of myself, looking pretty, and then just the fact that it’s in the summer. I love summer and I don’t know why more people don’t choose this season to get married. Georgette and Chiffon are beautiful fabrics and flatter a woman so much. That’s about my own, but what perplexes me is how insanely bored I get at other peoples weddings. From close friends, to distant cousins- its all the same. I’m made to dress up in beautiful outfits and smile like I’m enjoying myself. But I really don’t. These days its slightly better because Peepu accompanies me to share my annoyance. Earlier, when I was single, I would still go to friends’ weddings, but I used to be alone. Often, I didn’t used to know anyone there, but again, I had to go. I believe if someone invites me to some place, its almost rude to not go. So even its half hour, I need to show my face and stay just about long enough to hug my friend who’s celebrating a big day, have a glass of wine and come back. At one such event (an extremely nouveau-riche event), I knew I wouldn’t know anyone so I even took a magazine with me.
In other, though slightly topical news, I also attended a good friends’ wedding yesterday. With much hesitation, I went. I met some people I used to know, briefly, a few years back. It’s a group (my friend excluded- he’s really nice), that has me tongue tied, and almost nervous. They’re just like me in terms of their back ground and exposure but then there’s this inability to talk in me, when I’m around that lot. I finally figured out what it was and will try to articulate it here- when every statement you make has to be dripping of cool, and needs to be one which, if evaluated, could potentially make it to ‘the great list of coolest statements of all time’ – I stop to fit in. A conversation there feels like a competition in coolness. So any way, Peepu and Dad thought it was quite funny. I spent about an hour there- much of it spent guzzling beer and watching an extremely unfortunate match between India and South Africa
So you know how much I like red lips- bold, red lips? I’ve discovered fuchsia lips this spring. I’m sitting in a coffee shop, in a strappy white and brown dress, with a hot pink mouth. I love how everyone’s looking. Here’s a pic
No post is complete without an update on my job: all goes well, really busy but of late, I’ve developed a sharp interest in technology and the internet. When this stops to interest me, I’m going to get in to Tech. And I’m also going through this feeling of self-scolding. I’m upset I’m a Consultant. It’s a great job but I have no depth of expertise. So when I do decide to something else, I’ll take a 2 years hit, and join a tech firm at a slightly more inexperienced level, so I can re-learn without the fear of being constantly evaluated and in a rush to hit externally set professional milestones. Pretty good plan uh- I’m happy to have figured out a backup. Because in the short – medium term, between the firm and me, I see one of us wanting to take a break from the other.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
January 2011
12th Jan 2011
Its the 12th day of the new year, Amelie soundtrack plays in the back ground, I'm sitting on a make-shift cushion couch next to the heater, sipping Green tea to sooth my cold. Its my 20th day at home. It started with my case ending, a return flight (the last for a while) from Boston, a year-end break for the whole office, one week of light proposal work and now this week, when there's no case appropriate for me, starting up soon. That's how the job works. From over-worked to grossly under-worked.
Over the December break, I received 2 messages, from different unrelated people, asking me to continue writing in this space. I realize not many people read this, but whoever does, you'll keep seeing my spill life's happenings here occasionally.
This time its Emotional Energy that got me interested, pushed me to make some resolutions and then, spill them out here. I would often use depression as a catch-all, I'd attribute people's (and my own) sense of restlessness and emptiness to degrees of depression. The word also helped me make light of my own occasional sense of blah, as that was surely not depression. But as I make the most of my time off, I came across some interesting perspectives on 'low emotional energy' and a sense of 'Depletion' (as opposed to Depression) emerging out of it. I'm surely visited by the feeling often.
I have everything I could have wanted. I really do: a rewarding profession, a close and happy family, tons of friends, a loving boyfriend (now fiancé) who's also my closest friend, great sex, interests out side of work, a ton of travel, most things materialistic that I desire (including all the clothes in the world) and then the freedom to do exactly what I like with limited responsibilities so far. I could do with a fitter body and a little bit of sunshine in Delhi, but really, life's a little bit of a joy right now (touch wood!!). Yet, there are days I'm exhausted...depleted- that's the new way to explain it. And that's my resolution. To keep the emotional energy consistently up!
There are more, which I've already begun making some headway on.
* The kitchen's busy with me cooking up some or the other new (and healthy) meal every day. The biggest hits have been Pasta with Pesto and shrimp, stir fried shrimp, salad with goat's cheese and pine nuts, and easy though, marinated olives
*I've gone beyond just yoga to running and weights as well. Why? Because I'm bored. lets see how long this lasts.
*Spending more time with Peepu (yes, even more), especially since the second half of last year was spent adjusting time zones. And yes, I'm very much on track on that :)
And finally the update on the wedding: all set for the 9th and 10th of April. I'm conflicted between keeping-it-simple and keeping-it-insane.
21st Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and for some reason, still not complaining. I was in Bombay last week and got most of my wedding shopping done in 4 hours. Yet another reason to love the city. Its always awesome to spend a weekend with Vani and Nobbie. It also gave Peepu some time alone in Delhi- something he needed to prepare for a two week trip to the States. He's gone :(
30th Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and mildly concerned but still keeping busy. So now, just given face book is not to be trusted and I have a ton to say, I'll spill it here
* Peepu's been away nearly 2 weeks. He's in Virginia, I'm in Delhi. Being on this side isn't much fun. I liked that side. We spoke about this too. Turns out, he prefers to be the one waiting in Delhi, than to be training (or working) mercilessly, in a state of jet lag. That's awesome! In the future, I'll take back my role as the traveler and he can continue to enjoy his disciplined daily life in Delhi.
*I did 85 surya namaskars (sun salutations) yesterday. And you wonder why I call myself star people?
*I made a fantastic veg burger this morning. I still eat meat but I crave good tasting veggie meals these days. I found whole wheat buns in Khan market yesterday, and they weren't outrageously priced like Bagels and other nonsense. Rs 28 a packet- happy me! The patty consists of potato, beans, cauliflower, soya nuggets and chillies. My soul is doing a twirl of joy now
*I'm SO content with life, and I need to say it. I'm not exhilarated (I dislike people who are constantly in a state of excitement- the yay!! type), but my mind is just so stable right now. I'm in this moment where I'm thanking the universe for the love, re-appreciating my own inherent intelligence, stretching physical limits and overall, just counting what I have as opposed to what I don't.
I'm finally going to post this one.
As Sheldon Cooper says, Peace out
Megha
Its the 12th day of the new year, Amelie soundtrack plays in the back ground, I'm sitting on a make-shift cushion couch next to the heater, sipping Green tea to sooth my cold. Its my 20th day at home. It started with my case ending, a return flight (the last for a while) from Boston, a year-end break for the whole office, one week of light proposal work and now this week, when there's no case appropriate for me, starting up soon. That's how the job works. From over-worked to grossly under-worked.
Over the December break, I received 2 messages, from different unrelated people, asking me to continue writing in this space. I realize not many people read this, but whoever does, you'll keep seeing my spill life's happenings here occasionally.
This time its Emotional Energy that got me interested, pushed me to make some resolutions and then, spill them out here. I would often use depression as a catch-all, I'd attribute people's (and my own) sense of restlessness and emptiness to degrees of depression. The word also helped me make light of my own occasional sense of blah, as that was surely not depression. But as I make the most of my time off, I came across some interesting perspectives on 'low emotional energy' and a sense of 'Depletion' (as opposed to Depression) emerging out of it. I'm surely visited by the feeling often.
I have everything I could have wanted. I really do: a rewarding profession, a close and happy family, tons of friends, a loving boyfriend (now fiancé) who's also my closest friend, great sex, interests out side of work, a ton of travel, most things materialistic that I desire (including all the clothes in the world) and then the freedom to do exactly what I like with limited responsibilities so far. I could do with a fitter body and a little bit of sunshine in Delhi, but really, life's a little bit of a joy right now (touch wood!!). Yet, there are days I'm exhausted...depleted- that's the new way to explain it. And that's my resolution. To keep the emotional energy consistently up!
There are more, which I've already begun making some headway on.
* The kitchen's busy with me cooking up some or the other new (and healthy) meal every day. The biggest hits have been Pasta with Pesto and shrimp, stir fried shrimp, salad with goat's cheese and pine nuts, and easy though, marinated olives
*I've gone beyond just yoga to running and weights as well. Why? Because I'm bored. lets see how long this lasts.
*Spending more time with Peepu (yes, even more), especially since the second half of last year was spent adjusting time zones. And yes, I'm very much on track on that :)
And finally the update on the wedding: all set for the 9th and 10th of April. I'm conflicted between keeping-it-simple and keeping-it-insane.
21st Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and for some reason, still not complaining. I was in Bombay last week and got most of my wedding shopping done in 4 hours. Yet another reason to love the city. Its always awesome to spend a weekend with Vani and Nobbie. It also gave Peepu some time alone in Delhi- something he needed to prepare for a two week trip to the States. He's gone :(
30th Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and mildly concerned but still keeping busy. So now, just given face book is not to be trusted and I have a ton to say, I'll spill it here
* Peepu's been away nearly 2 weeks. He's in Virginia, I'm in Delhi. Being on this side isn't much fun. I liked that side. We spoke about this too. Turns out, he prefers to be the one waiting in Delhi, than to be training (or working) mercilessly, in a state of jet lag. That's awesome! In the future, I'll take back my role as the traveler and he can continue to enjoy his disciplined daily life in Delhi.
*I did 85 surya namaskars (sun salutations) yesterday. And you wonder why I call myself star people?
*I made a fantastic veg burger this morning. I still eat meat but I crave good tasting veggie meals these days. I found whole wheat buns in Khan market yesterday, and they weren't outrageously priced like Bagels and other nonsense. Rs 28 a packet- happy me! The patty consists of potato, beans, cauliflower, soya nuggets and chillies. My soul is doing a twirl of joy now
*I'm SO content with life, and I need to say it. I'm not exhilarated (I dislike people who are constantly in a state of excitement- the yay!! type), but my mind is just so stable right now. I'm in this moment where I'm thanking the universe for the love, re-appreciating my own inherent intelligence, stretching physical limits and overall, just counting what I have as opposed to what I don't.
I'm finally going to post this one.
As Sheldon Cooper says, Peace out
Megha
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Happy Diwali
Happy Diwali!
Its Diwali eve. I'm back in India, and sitting alone in my apartment in Gurgaon. I was at mum and dad's place last night but decided to spend a night alone. Peepu is in the hills with his family.
I realize growing up really brings with it these physical and psychological changes. I chose to be alone tonight. I miss being with mum and dad, but also feel like this evening was much needed.
The windows are open, and the whole city is beautifully lit. Even Gurgaon looks beautiful. I spent the evening at Harpreet's place, chatting over scotch and sausages. Sumit is out, so I have the apartment to myself.
I'm listening to my fave playlist, and just happy with this moment. I was going to say joy, but no- comfort is a better word. There is comfort in being INFP.
Most of my posts are about love, travel, and loneliness- no?
So let me write what is on my mind, when love is away, there is no travel for the next *two* days and I'm alone.
*I have a friend's facebook profile open on the next tab. She started fun, went to cool, went to 'statement cool', traveled the whole world- to an extent I can't imagine can be fun, went about getting experiences you read about in Chicken Soup etc, and got ALL of them, and now updates her fb status every 15 minutes. No reactions. Just puzzled.
*I'm listening to Mary Hopkins's 'Those were the days'. Papa used to sing this to us when we girls. He gave it a lot of emotion. I used to start crying at the end, because I didn't think good things should go
*I got a lot of respect at work today. I secretly cried
*Women- these days they all want to look the same. Film stars, friends, colleagues....straight hair, bright coloured dresses, expensive stilletoes and thin arched eyebrows. I find being run of the mill scary. I like maintaining my individuality though it makes me 'less pretty'
*I hate people who judge/taunt children under the age of 18. I think its unfair and morally wrong. I was a victim and spent my initial few post-18 years defying in ways I could have avoided
*Madonna looks fabulous without a bra. I wish I could too. If I go without a bra, I would stop traffic!
*On Monday morning, Peepu and I leave a 7 day road trip in Rajasthan. Its why I love him! Just that I really want 7 days of being on the road with him. A week of driving, stopping by at lavish, semi-lavish and run down places, and just everything else
*I miss Vani being around more often
*My blog is public but so safe. I love my visitors,. Even the passers-by, who don't even read
Happy Diwali folks. I'm listening to Is it time, by the Eagles, and slowly drifting.
Its Diwali eve. I'm back in India, and sitting alone in my apartment in Gurgaon. I was at mum and dad's place last night but decided to spend a night alone. Peepu is in the hills with his family.
I realize growing up really brings with it these physical and psychological changes. I chose to be alone tonight. I miss being with mum and dad, but also feel like this evening was much needed.
The windows are open, and the whole city is beautifully lit. Even Gurgaon looks beautiful. I spent the evening at Harpreet's place, chatting over scotch and sausages. Sumit is out, so I have the apartment to myself.
I'm listening to my fave playlist, and just happy with this moment. I was going to say joy, but no- comfort is a better word. There is comfort in being INFP.
Most of my posts are about love, travel, and loneliness- no?
So let me write what is on my mind, when love is away, there is no travel for the next *two* days and I'm alone.
*I have a friend's facebook profile open on the next tab. She started fun, went to cool, went to 'statement cool', traveled the whole world- to an extent I can't imagine can be fun, went about getting experiences you read about in Chicken Soup etc, and got ALL of them, and now updates her fb status every 15 minutes. No reactions. Just puzzled.
*I'm listening to Mary Hopkins's 'Those were the days'. Papa used to sing this to us when we girls. He gave it a lot of emotion. I used to start crying at the end, because I didn't think good things should go
*I got a lot of respect at work today. I secretly cried
*Women- these days they all want to look the same. Film stars, friends, colleagues....straight hair, bright coloured dresses, expensive stilletoes and thin arched eyebrows. I find being run of the mill scary. I like maintaining my individuality though it makes me 'less pretty'
*I hate people who judge/taunt children under the age of 18. I think its unfair and morally wrong. I was a victim and spent my initial few post-18 years defying in ways I could have avoided
*Madonna looks fabulous without a bra. I wish I could too. If I go without a bra, I would stop traffic!
*On Monday morning, Peepu and I leave a 7 day road trip in Rajasthan. Its why I love him! Just that I really want 7 days of being on the road with him. A week of driving, stopping by at lavish, semi-lavish and run down places, and just everything else
*I miss Vani being around more often
*My blog is public but so safe. I love my visitors,. Even the passers-by, who don't even read
Happy Diwali folks. I'm listening to Is it time, by the Eagles, and slowly drifting.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Loneliness is my fave drink
Its nice to be wearing music in my ears and staring at a bunch of strangers on Boylston Street. I'm in Starbucks for lunch and coffee, doing what I'm best at- typing away!
I just finished 2 decks this morning, and have nearly pulled 14 hours of work this weekend, but still feel surprisingly refreshed! I was to be in Boston only 2 weeks this time, but a few things came up and I decided to extend by 6 days. Of course, as I walk through these streets, sit in these coffee shops, buy beautiful clothes, my heart only sinks deeper, as the person who makes it all worth while is back home, cheerfully living his life! I'm happy he can be on his own, just the way I can. I'm happy we miss each other, but don't pine. We go days without speaking for more than 5 minutes, because we aren't great on the phone. Yet, our thoughts are with each other all day. I'm happy we're happy to do this. We wouldn't have chosen each other otherwise.
I was first here in Boston 4 years back, exactly the same time of the year. I remember stopping for a second at this coffee shop to wear some Mascara, at ~8 in the evening. That;s how long my association with this city is. This year, I first visited in May. Its October now. I have spent most of the summer and fall here. its going to be Winter soon. I know I've been here a while now- strangers ask me how to get around, and locals greet me like they know me well. I've found my own coffee shop here. I've found my favorite book store. I have a routine here!
And then in a few days, I will be back at the airport, where again, I'll have a routine. I didn't know it till a fellow passenger(CEO of big, heavy machinery firm in India) pointed it out. From knowing where to buy food for the flight, to be certain I won't have flight food even in First class; from knowing where to stock away my shoes to knowing the exact incline I want on my flat bed to setting an in-flight alarm to wake up and get to my computer- I have a routine! The sky is home :)
This year I've seen it all- India - Brighton - Paris - Amsterdam - Raleigh/Durham - New York - Los Angeles - Delhi -Koh Chang - Bangkok - Hyderabad - Bombay - Goa - Boston - Vermont - Houston - New Orleans - Road trip through Texas, Louisiana, Mississipi, Alabama - New York - Richmond - Delhi - Kerala - Boston - Minneapolis (tomorrow!)- I get tired but I love it. I thank the universe for letting me have this, because its what truly makes me happy.
I'm engaged- it happened, not surprisingly, at Terminal 3! I love the man I'm going to marry. However, with that comes a fear of losing this drink called loneliness.
I'm very comfortable, and often ecstatic when I'm alone. I often like strangers more than people I know. Thankfully people, Peepu is exactly the same. And thus, we both continue to live in 2 different parts of the world and enjoy being much in love with each other. He's in Delhi, I'm in Boston; he's getting ready to go to bed, while I'm sipping my afternoon coffee. We haven't spoken in 2 days, but we dropped each other email notes. We're alone, away form each other, but we haven't replaced each other with new people....just one old friend- and he's called loneliness.
The music is Piano Man.
P.S. I realize this is a long free fall of thoughts on my key board. For once, I made no typos while I typed this out (except may be Mississippi).
I just finished 2 decks this morning, and have nearly pulled 14 hours of work this weekend, but still feel surprisingly refreshed! I was to be in Boston only 2 weeks this time, but a few things came up and I decided to extend by 6 days. Of course, as I walk through these streets, sit in these coffee shops, buy beautiful clothes, my heart only sinks deeper, as the person who makes it all worth while is back home, cheerfully living his life! I'm happy he can be on his own, just the way I can. I'm happy we miss each other, but don't pine. We go days without speaking for more than 5 minutes, because we aren't great on the phone. Yet, our thoughts are with each other all day. I'm happy we're happy to do this. We wouldn't have chosen each other otherwise.
I was first here in Boston 4 years back, exactly the same time of the year. I remember stopping for a second at this coffee shop to wear some Mascara, at ~8 in the evening. That;s how long my association with this city is. This year, I first visited in May. Its October now. I have spent most of the summer and fall here. its going to be Winter soon. I know I've been here a while now- strangers ask me how to get around, and locals greet me like they know me well. I've found my own coffee shop here. I've found my favorite book store. I have a routine here!
And then in a few days, I will be back at the airport, where again, I'll have a routine. I didn't know it till a fellow passenger(CEO of big, heavy machinery firm in India) pointed it out. From knowing where to buy food for the flight, to be certain I won't have flight food even in First class; from knowing where to stock away my shoes to knowing the exact incline I want on my flat bed to setting an in-flight alarm to wake up and get to my computer- I have a routine! The sky is home :)
This year I've seen it all- India - Brighton - Paris - Amsterdam - Raleigh/Durham - New York - Los Angeles - Delhi -Koh Chang - Bangkok - Hyderabad - Bombay - Goa - Boston - Vermont - Houston - New Orleans - Road trip through Texas, Louisiana, Mississipi, Alabama - New York - Richmond - Delhi - Kerala - Boston - Minneapolis (tomorrow!)- I get tired but I love it. I thank the universe for letting me have this, because its what truly makes me happy.
I'm engaged- it happened, not surprisingly, at Terminal 3! I love the man I'm going to marry. However, with that comes a fear of losing this drink called loneliness.
I'm very comfortable, and often ecstatic when I'm alone. I often like strangers more than people I know. Thankfully people, Peepu is exactly the same. And thus, we both continue to live in 2 different parts of the world and enjoy being much in love with each other. He's in Delhi, I'm in Boston; he's getting ready to go to bed, while I'm sipping my afternoon coffee. We haven't spoken in 2 days, but we dropped each other email notes. We're alone, away form each other, but we haven't replaced each other with new people....just one old friend- and he's called loneliness.
The music is Piano Man.
P.S. I realize this is a long free fall of thoughts on my key board. For once, I made no typos while I typed this out (except may be Mississippi).
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thank you!
Some days like these, when despite all my efforts, things don’t work out, for reasons unknown to me, and beyond my control to the extent I can imagine. I was weak this morning, unhappy, because I put my life and soul in to something. And people in positions of power, came and snatched it away. Not my work, not the acknowledgement- all that is still with me. But my confidence, my pride and my strength.
I’m still thankful. To mentors who stood by me. To friends who diverted my mind. To family, that didn’t call, because they knew I was constrained. And to you, my love…my life, for standing by me. For messaging me knowing I wouldn’t respond. For staying awake so you could try me later in my day. For still smilingly sleeping, though I wasn’t able to talk. For declaring you were angry for me. For softening entirely in your messages. For reminding me of a wonderful life of togetherness that beckons. For making me secure. For convincing me I was right.
I’m madly in love with you. Like I’ve never loved a man before. And I wouldn’t trade this for the universe and another half of it…
I’m going out with the girls for a drink. Some local Boston bar. My mind, my heart and my senses are with you. Thank you for helping me get through this day.
I'm listening to Sugarland, Stuck on you
I’m still thankful. To mentors who stood by me. To friends who diverted my mind. To family, that didn’t call, because they knew I was constrained. And to you, my love…my life, for standing by me. For messaging me knowing I wouldn’t respond. For staying awake so you could try me later in my day. For still smilingly sleeping, though I wasn’t able to talk. For declaring you were angry for me. For softening entirely in your messages. For reminding me of a wonderful life of togetherness that beckons. For making me secure. For convincing me I was right.
I’m madly in love with you. Like I’ve never loved a man before. And I wouldn’t trade this for the universe and another half of it…
I’m going out with the girls for a drink. Some local Boston bar. My mind, my heart and my senses are with you. Thank you for helping me get through this day.
I'm listening to Sugarland, Stuck on you
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Boston: And just a few more days
7:44 am on the clock. In a few minutes I'll be ready to leave for work. I'm sitting at my desk- with my hair up, a white towel wrapped around me, a just-brewed cup of black coffee next to me, but with no thoughts in my head. There's a mirror on one side and I confess I look pretty in white and in less.
I'm outside of Boston, in a small suburb. In just a few days, I'll leave this place, and won't be back for a while. Until then, let me love the solitude I have. Let me love the loneliness. I once I wrote I love lonely people.....I still do. We need the rest of the world a lot less.
U2 plays on the computer. One.
I'm outside of Boston, in a small suburb. In just a few days, I'll leave this place, and won't be back for a while. Until then, let me love the solitude I have. Let me love the loneliness. I once I wrote I love lonely people.....I still do. We need the rest of the world a lot less.
U2 plays on the computer. One.
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