Monday, November 23, 2009

Ka Ching....

I spoke of this yesterday in my conversation of desire, turning dust to gold and why its ok to want what I want, but anything more than that kills me.

I'll share the lyrics AND the song with you.

We live in a greedy little world--
that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly--
then turn around and
Spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess
We spend the money that we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all
So it's shoppin' every Sunday at the mall

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing--Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When you're broke go and get a loan
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when
you get bored

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Let's swing
Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha
Come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

Sunday, November 22, 2009

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta sing together

Its finally the week of 26th. I feel bad my holiday starts the same day that darkened India last year, but it wasn't planned this way.

I kept my promise and did not sulk the last 2 weeks. In fact, I worked bloody damn hard and delivered kickass output. Not, only if we can get through the next few days.

I'm mixed today. Happy and Sad. I had a nice Sunday. Peepu and I went shopping. We picked up all sorts of random stuff including antique mashals, locks and specs' holders. Peepu picked up T shirts with Punjabi slogans on them. Who knew I'd date a boy from Ludhiana. Then, he picked up two sweaters. And thank god my boyfriend likes shopping (he insists he doesn't!). We had South Indian breakfast, street food and several pots of coffee. I got myself a face pack and purple tracks. So that's the reason I'm happy.

I'm sad for 2 reasons: I feel purposeless and I feel angry. I feel purposeless as I have this sudden feeling of 'is this what i'm made for?'. I did well in my last review cycle, which is probably why I'm questioning things again. Do I want to live with my parents? Is travel my only motivation to work? Do I really get a kick from being a Consultant? Have I really taken any risks? Once my holiday is over, what am I really going to look forward to? Many many questions, but no answers yet. I'll end this one with ..... as this isn't going to end soon. So ........

And then I'm angry. I can't believe I'm writing this in a public space but I'm angry with home. I'm from a rather neat family. They're smart, educated, well turned out and extremely liberal. We have enough even though we never really planned it to be this way. I live on my own terms, which keep me from confirming yet keep me grounded solid. But more recently, I get the feeling my life's getting increasingly materialistic. I'm afraid because my family really defines a large part of who I am. And I am indeed fabulous! I live a good life- I make sure I'm able to get most of what my heart desires, whether its a nice set of stones or hot black coffee or steamed momos or a Parisian holiday with my fav boy. I don't accumluate. I follow whatever my heart is dazzled with. And I'm angry because more recently the Joneses are starting to haunt my mum a bit, making her push me to follow not what my heart desires, but what my neighbours' hearts desire. I'm sure this will pass too...

Have you heard Des'ree, you gotta be?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Good morning (does 6:00 am count as morning, or is it ‘just past midnight’?)

It’s 9th Nov. I promise, for the next two killer workweeks, I’ll smile my way through work. I will not touch HHC, Facebook, shopping sites or Travelocity (or I’m going to be terribly angsty if I don’t feel the week of 26th is well deserved, and to make sure I avoid that feeling while on holiday, I will work extremely hard (like hands folded, conversation to god happening). Also, if someone pisses me off, I’ll count to over 50K if that’s what it takes, but I will not be grumpy.

Its 6:03 a.m, Delhi is asleep on this misty early winter morning. I’m on my weekly flight to Hyderabad. There’s something about this flight that’s not quite. There are too many computers open, including my own, and almost everyone is travelling on work. Too many men suited up and nearly no women on this flight- so typical of corporate India!

My strong Costa Cappuccino saves my morning. Good morning world. I’m ready to take you on. Since I can’t fight you with curses, I’ll tame you with love.

The attendants are looking at me- I better shut down. I’m plugging in the music; I don’t know what its going to be. I’ll see you on the other side.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Not bitchy

So kids, I just came back from a much desired girly evening out. I met Sonali and Rak at Smoke House Grill and as always, it was awesome. We've known each other since 8th grade and still meet at least once every couple of weeks. We lost touch for a few years in between but something went right in the universe, and we all ended up back in the same city again.

So, let me go back in time and tell you about my close friends. I never had girl friends. I had a bunch of 4-5 of them in school, after which I always one close girl friends but my gang was always rowdy, nasty boys.It was always easier because I always stood out. But somewhere, a couple of years back, the girls and I reconnected and I have loved it ever since. The thing about these girls is, they aren't bitches. I don't like bitches and have a fairly clean record of not knowing many. We have fun. We laugh a lot. Rak's a boy. Ok not really a boy, but a lot like one. Sonali's such a girl! I'm somewhere in between.

The other thing about these girls is- they can drink! There's this unstoppable-ness about them...they go on all night. If you know me a little beyond this blog, you'll know my ability to drink is shameful. I get pretty happy with 2 glasses of wine. Things ran pretty much the same way today, except that it was 2 bottles. Now, I'm damn happy!

I'm 2 weeks away from the much awaited break. Its going to be Western Europe!! London, to meet friends; Paris for the romance; Amsterdam for the coffee shops. Monday, the Netherlands embassy blesses my passport (hopeful, me) after which, I can start telling myself to get throguh each day, as at the end of this dark tunnel, lies plenty of sunshine. Until then, lets hope the stars keep shining on us.

I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love these days, and as much as I don't like chick lit, this one's very well done. I especially like the self-deprecating tone throughout- kind of reminds of myself.

Peeps is asleep. I tried calling him but I think he's out. I'm not used to not chatting with him late at night so the feeling that somethings missing. Damn, people like him. Tough to live with and without.

On an aside, I'm putting on weight again, which is worrysome. I did an intense workout today, including 50 sun salutations. I think its the cheese. When the world is about to end, and I have one thing left to do, I'll dive into a pool of melted cheese. Any way, its time I start cutting this fatty crap out of my system for a bit. I do like myself better when I'm fabulous.

My eyes are giving in now; I better get some sleep. But I promise to breathe more life in to this blog. I'm considering using it as my weekly diary, so some day my grand children can read it and feel the awesomeness.

I'm listening to Umbrella and I promise, one of these days I'll have Stars tattooed on my leg just the way Rihanna does on her neck. For Star People.