Chicago-1

Noon, in Chicago, and I now know what the big deal about great weather is. The city looks beautiful today. I have the graduate on my mind. Of course, I'm listening to the Simon and Garfunkel.

Its Sunday evening and .....

RCB 5 wickets down.....now 6....Deccan Chargers it is. I don't know why I'm stressing so much over it- beyond my tiny loyalty to Delhi Daredevils, I don't know much about it. I mean I know how it works and all that, but I can't get myself to enjoy it passionately.

Any way, I'm at the sorry end of the weekend. This was a tough one. Yesterday was sad, as Sunita's father passed away yesterday. She's braver than I. She's been with us 7 years now, and while I can't lessen her grief, I can feel it. She was close to her father the way I'm close to mine. She's unmarried but gets kick out of being independent as that does her parents proud. I do too. I put her on a train to Rourkela this afternoon. I don't when she will be back, but I hope she's able to put a brave front back home, and help her mother through this irreparable loss.

Today I've been super lazy, most unlike me. I don't feel lazy, rather the drowsiness is keeping my eyes closed. I still pushed myself to work out, get myself dented-painted at the salon, but I'm still yawny sleepy. The cheesecake at Flavours didn't help much. But I'd be stupid to pass an opportunity to dine outdoors on a day as beautiful as today.

I've got new glasses. I broke my old ones. Again.

I'm an inch away from fitting beautifully into my new swimsuit. Its 2 piece. I'm no size zero, and when I say I'm an inch away from it I mean I'll soon be in a form that won't necessarily have people wonder why I decided to buy that little piece any way. Now, I need to go to Goa.

I may be on a long flight in less than a week from now. Unless something bad happens. Bad = Change of client's plans. But its not so bad. The alternative will be attending Shefali's wedding in Bangalore, which is just as cool. So lets see..

I'm reading Pirates and Emperors, by Chomsky. Stings, but gives real context. I'll write more about it soon.

Now they're 8 down. So sad!

whatay!

Bharti, Suraj, KC, Happy, Amith, Total,Thands, Chaddah, Soumya, Sarwagi, Prao, Shobhit, Kaka, ND....whatay!!

Peeps, missed ya!

Love all, its Humein tumse pyaar kitna...jhankaar beats version

Not.always.an.end.to.everything

I should be sleeping, after a nightmare half week. And it is 12:44 am.

I'm thinking. Of moments. Of unfinished moments. Of beautiful unfinished moments. Of moments that wont go. Of moments that leave a picture behind. The picture that can't be deleted. Conversation with a real supporter in times of sadness. Uninihibted, unconditional support. Smile of acknowledgement from across the room. Several times. Silent glance from someone who can sense you're sad, but chooses not to ask- just looks. Looks with concern. Looks with warmth. 45 seconds of romance in crowded room. Illegitimate romance. Happy good-byes. No words just two faces communicating whatever little needs to be said. Moments of silence. Of support, warmth, love, concern.

Hungry

Its midnight and I'm hungry. I can't think of anything else. The hamburger in How I Met Your Mother, pancakes in FRIENDS, pizza in FRIENDS and turkey sandwiches in Gossip Girl. Hang on, Monika bakes fresh cookies to lure everyone to the new apartment she got after losing hers to Joey and Chandler. And the donut Joey left on top of the fridge at the old apartment. The Dominos celebration ad. And now, Chandler not only accuses Cathy of cheating on him, but he also craves Beefstake Charlies.

Sob!!!! I need food.

Megha decides not to die

This week isn't likely to be intense. But that doesn't stop me from coming in at 8:00am. Only better traffic can stop that. And coming in at 8:00 isn't so bad when you've been up since 5:45 am.

I'm bored of Facebook so I'm writing a blog post. Have you heard that before? I substitue Facebook and Blogger

And then, I have an entire bag of jelly beans in my handbag, which is keeping me on a perpetual sugar high, making me annoyingly chirpy at times.

I noticed something this morning while I drove to work. They were playing 'We didn't start the fire' on FM 95 and I was, as always, singing along aloud, checking myself out in the mirror and even dancing as much as the confines of the driver's seat permitted. I looked around and saw people in the 2 adjacent cars looking at me wonderously, like I was some sort of psycho. I don't blame them. But after that I couldn't help but notice all along the highway, that people heading to work don't smile. Whether it was passengers in Chartered buses, 8 young executives shoved in to a van, the pretty young girl driving her Santro or the accomplished senior manager chauffered in his Camry. I started to think why I always smile on my way to work, when I realized I smile on my back as well, and on my way to the coffee shop, and on my way to the salon, and on my way to the loo. Ok, I don't ALWAYS have a purposeless smile plastered on my face, but what I'm trying to say is my default state is a happy one. Not gleeful, excited, euphoric (that would require pot or Ecstacy), but happy.

Now, I'm at work and I'm asking myself why it is this way. There's a lot that's conspicuously missing in my life. I could work less than 70-80 hours a week, could be thinner, could have a beautiful boyfriend, clear skin, better clothes, nicer hair, kick-ass luck- all of these I want, but don't have. But still happy? Yes,happy. And what I do have- nice job, nice guys around me, strong support group, pretty dresses and of course, good music- comes in probably because its attracted to cheeriness inside.

Yes, Happy, but obviously not content, which still isn't so bad, given the number of grumpy faces I see every morning.

Did I forget to mention I had a kick-ass weekend. I made appetizers- Devil eggs and Chicken Croquettes- for 8 people, spent lots of good time with Vani and met up with a lot of people I knew back in IIM. I met some of them after nearly 4 years! Others, who I have been running in to on and off, were great too. Awesome party, familiar friendly faces and some more.....and that is all.

Overall, TOUCHWOOD!!!


I'm 6 jelly beans and 2 gummies down, plugging my ear phones on, to listen to REM. The title is inspired by a fictional character Veronika who had almost everything, just like me, but not enough, just like me. She decided to die.

Got help?

I don't believe much in self-help, motivational reading and other such da da da. I sort of like the overall effect low moments have on our lives. Of course, they make you stronger. But they also make you realize you'd be pretty sad to want only happy moments. I don't search for true happiness because I don't want it. I like bumpy rides. I like being normal. I like being happy, sad, successful, dejected, loved, rejected, admired, ignored, fat, thin- it all comes together to help rock life.

I have, over the last few years, learnt to love great moments, and go all out and weep the hell out of sad moments.

I've learnt to appreciate true love because I've been burned. And if you haven't been burned, you don't know what you're missing out on!

I've learnt that there is an often occuring and painfully difficult tradeoff in life-it can be easy or interesting!

I've learnt that family is indispensible!

I've learnt that I'm right in believing things can be done in style....

....that best friends can make it so easy to accomplish an evening full of fun, every weekend

....that when I was in love, I was indeed blinded

....that there's a lot of merit in going the right way, even though the wrong way is seemingly easy (a la Shah Rukh Khan in DDLJ)

....that I really do smile on Monday mornings. Oh, I can be such a loser

....that my faith holds me together

....that the body has phenomenal self-healing powers

....that inconsistent messages are confusing the hell out of me, but I'm managing just fine

I'm going to shut off now. I have lots to read. I've been going at a pace of a book a week, and last week I did two. And then, I also have Yoga tomorrow morning, which is even more important these days, since I have a tiny, new swimsuit to fit in to.

I'm off! Good night!

Picture this

You live in Algren, a little town in Southern Canada, with a population of no more than 1,500. You work for $250 a week at the mayor’s office, which really doesn’t require much. Answer the phone and think of ways to make Algren look prettier- may be plant Petunias at the side walk, or re-paint the water tower. But you’re happy you’re doing it well! While walking a few houses down to work you drop your little daughter, Summer Feelin’ over at your boyfriend’s (and her father’s) place. As you walk down further, you get a whiff of hot, freshly baked cakes from the nearby café, the only café, where you head out for an occasional coffee since most of the time you brew coffee at home. In the afternoon, after work you pick up Summer Feelin’ and her father and head home. Papa is by now looking forward to seeing Summer Feelin and mum can’t wait to catch up on the day over pots of coffee. Later in the evening, you and your boyfriends head out to the farm at the outskirts. You spend hours on a large pile of hay, stare at the setting sun, make love, share a cigarette, listen to the birds chirping the night in, wonder how everyone approves of your relationship, talk about Summer Feelin and what she might like for dinner today….may be Chicken casserole and boiled potatoes ,,,,,

I’m a city girl but for this moment, I want to live in Algren. For a few days while I was sick, it moved me away from the noisy, complex, exciting and very colorful world of my own.