12th Jan 2011
Its the 12th day of the new year, Amelie soundtrack plays in the back ground, I'm sitting on a make-shift cushion couch next to the heater, sipping Green tea to sooth my cold. Its my 20th day at home. It started with my case ending, a return flight (the last for a while) from Boston, a year-end break for the whole office, one week of light proposal work and now this week, when there's no case appropriate for me, starting up soon. That's how the job works. From over-worked to grossly under-worked.
Over the December break, I received 2 messages, from different unrelated people, asking me to continue writing in this space. I realize not many people read this, but whoever does, you'll keep seeing my spill life's happenings here occasionally.
This time its Emotional Energy that got me interested, pushed me to make some resolutions and then, spill them out here. I would often use depression as a catch-all, I'd attribute people's (and my own) sense of restlessness and emptiness to degrees of depression. The word also helped me make light of my own occasional sense of blah, as that was surely not depression. But as I make the most of my time off, I came across some interesting perspectives on 'low emotional energy' and a sense of 'Depletion' (as opposed to Depression) emerging out of it. I'm surely visited by the feeling often.
I have everything I could have wanted. I really do: a rewarding profession, a close and happy family, tons of friends, a loving boyfriend (now fiancé) who's also my closest friend, great sex, interests out side of work, a ton of travel, most things materialistic that I desire (including all the clothes in the world) and then the freedom to do exactly what I like with limited responsibilities so far. I could do with a fitter body and a little bit of sunshine in Delhi, but really, life's a little bit of a joy right now (touch wood!!). Yet, there are days I'm exhausted...depleted- that's the new way to explain it. And that's my resolution. To keep the emotional energy consistently up!
There are more, which I've already begun making some headway on.
* The kitchen's busy with me cooking up some or the other new (and healthy) meal every day. The biggest hits have been Pasta with Pesto and shrimp, stir fried shrimp, salad with goat's cheese and pine nuts, and easy though, marinated olives
*I've gone beyond just yoga to running and weights as well. Why? Because I'm bored. lets see how long this lasts.
*Spending more time with Peepu (yes, even more), especially since the second half of last year was spent adjusting time zones. And yes, I'm very much on track on that :)
And finally the update on the wedding: all set for the 9th and 10th of April. I'm conflicted between keeping-it-simple and keeping-it-insane.
21st Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and for some reason, still not complaining. I was in Bombay last week and got most of my wedding shopping done in 4 hours. Yet another reason to love the city. Its always awesome to spend a weekend with Vani and Nobbie. It also gave Peepu some time alone in Delhi- something he needed to prepare for a two week trip to the States. He's gone :(
30th Jan 2011
Still home, still no work, and mildly concerned but still keeping busy. So now, just given face book is not to be trusted and I have a ton to say, I'll spill it here
* Peepu's been away nearly 2 weeks. He's in Virginia, I'm in Delhi. Being on this side isn't much fun. I liked that side. We spoke about this too. Turns out, he prefers to be the one waiting in Delhi, than to be training (or working) mercilessly, in a state of jet lag. That's awesome! In the future, I'll take back my role as the traveler and he can continue to enjoy his disciplined daily life in Delhi.
*I did 85 surya namaskars (sun salutations) yesterday. And you wonder why I call myself star people?
*I made a fantastic veg burger this morning. I still eat meat but I crave good tasting veggie meals these days. I found whole wheat buns in Khan market yesterday, and they weren't outrageously priced like Bagels and other nonsense. Rs 28 a packet- happy me! The patty consists of potato, beans, cauliflower, soya nuggets and chillies. My soul is doing a twirl of joy now
*I'm SO content with life, and I need to say it. I'm not exhilarated (I dislike people who are constantly in a state of excitement- the yay!! type), but my mind is just so stable right now. I'm in this moment where I'm thanking the universe for the love, re-appreciating my own inherent intelligence, stretching physical limits and overall, just counting what I have as opposed to what I don't.
I'm finally going to post this one.
As Sheldon Cooper says, Peace out