And today I want everything!!

So it’s the first time I get to spend 5 whole days in Bombay on this case. Although I had asked for a Bombay case, I got staffed on one that brought me to Bombay every Tuesday and took me back on Thursday. But this was a nicer, longer week in Bombay. And this week I landed here on Sunday. My friends from B school were here for 3 days. Yes, I did have some friends in Business School. While we’re on that, let me explain my relationship with my B school. This is a big Pth:

I wasn’t meant to go to Business school. I wanted to do a Masters in Arts, but as luck would have it, I cracked the CAT and got into this premier school. No mean feat, but I never thought it was my ‘aha’ moment. I don’t particularly like the world of business. So B school was actually 2 years where life went out of track, and I landed in a place where I had very little in common with people around me, in terms of background, outlook, dressing style, and dreams. But nevertheless, I loved some of those people. My job s such that it leads me to believe that life established its equilibrium by getting me this job, where although I talk business, I’m not constrained in any way. I’m free to follow everything I’m passionate about, and even develop new passions almost every couple of months. I’m free to dream. I’m free to not be a slave to time. Sooooooo….. some of those B school friends who I adore, were in town. And that brought me to Bombay.

So back to Bombay- Its Ganpati Puja today, so my client’s office was shut. My team is in Delhi and I’m alone, working (seemingly) from my hotel room. Again, I can never say this enough, I love hotel rooms. I love not having home cooked food. I love the ‘alone time’ I get even though I spent most of it working today. I love how I can always make myself a cup of chai thanks to the tea bags and the kettle. Hey, you know I love kettles too. Through college, I had one in my room (even thought I lived at home). I had one in B school. Mum gifted it to me because she knew it would bring immense joy to me. I had one in Singapore. And Malaysia. I had one hidden in my office drawers as well. It’s a wonderful reminder of the nomadic life I want to live. I find chai made on the stove a bit threatening. I feel domesticated. So back to my hotel room- I’m alone, hungry and full of thoughts.

I love the pillow I’ve rested my chest on while I write, lying on my stomach with this computer in my face. I wish I had such a pillow in my room at home too. I wish for a lot of other things…..

I wish the city of Bombay never loses its energy, and its big city lights that give me a fantastic view from this room
I wish the yellow envelope with the red star that shows up on my phone every time I have a new message, always makes me that happy
I wish I could have spent more time in Delhi University
I wish I was thinner….and my nose was thinner
I wish my curly hair would grow back without much pain
I wish I had a clearer idea of my dream and the way there
I wish all work-in-progress would end: my WIP slides, my client’s phenomenal WIP cost and every other WIP
I wish every parent would learn from mine
I wish every girl would use toner (Ok, I discovered it a month back, and really, wow!)
I wish Indian men would dress better, smell better and open their minds up
I wish the same for Indian women too
I wish there were more firms in the world that kept their people so happy
I wish the 2 year rule, which is actually a 1 year rule, was a 6 months rule. They say it takes 2 (read 1) years to settle into a new city, to settle into a new job and to get over someone you loved. I’d have more conviction about moving to Bombay, would have worked significantly fewer hours in Malaysia, and saved myself precious 6 months
I wish some people on the other side of the world would know, that evening actually ended well, and their tolerance that evening helped me wipe out a long period of sadness and doubt. And that I still think they’re great. And I still think I too am
I wish I was better at Poker
I wish I could post the 3 pages I wrote on the flight last week
I wish my laugh was louder
I wish ‘taking ownership’ was not just a tenet my firm is maniacal about, I wish it were a guideline for life
I wish people would stop talking about markets, bonuses and trades during Saturday lunches. Like some of us really don’t care!
I wish there were more people that appreciation for one’s creation gives far more joy than appreciation for one’s looks
I wish people around me would stop justifying cheating. Its NOT done. Call me uncool- Still not done (in my catty voice!!)
I wish yellow dresses never go out of style. And nor do short shorts. And big round earrings
I wish girls knew make-up is bad for the skin
I wish I understood smoking, even occasional smoking, is worse for women than men
I wish I had gone on exchange and not given that up like a fool
I wish Dire Straits had sung more songs. And U2. And Led Zep. Ok, Led Zep did a lot. So no
I wish Sanjay Uncle had lived longer, and I had been able to meet him again
I wish Shiv would be the same good friend again
I wish I wasn’t paranoid that the ‘I believe’ song is unlucky for me

I could so go on…..but I’ll stop. I’m clearly not clear on the difference between wish and hope….

I wish if I had just one wish, it wouldn’t be any of these. It would be that honesty never bit you in your face. And all ended well.

The music……Close your eyes…and Count to Ten, Ben Onono