And when real shit happens, during conflicts between what is right vs real and easy (and real easy), I close my eyes and wonder: how would *** have dealt with this situation?
I guess that's my loyalty, separating the good from the bad, and continuing to value, preserve and practice what was good.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Singing the song, singing this is the life
Good morning weekend. So I finally have pictures of my house to share on this space. Of course, I have more news: Just when I moved to my own place, lots else changed, which makes me nervous. I'll keep filling you in as and when things happen.....Gosh, that's my life.
Any way, that will come in piece meal.
I saw Love, Sex aur Dhoka last night and didn't think it was bad at all. There was of course the 'what's the point of it' reaction, but I never expect movies to make a point. If they can entertain me enough, or show me a new and effective form of storytellingc(as was done here), I'm satisfied. The topics were intense but not surprising. The actors were fabulous. I wish the Kareenas and Katrinas would see them.....would put them to shame.
Its the weekend, so I should have weekend plans too. Well at this moment, the flatmate is in Australia, the boyfriend and I are sitting at the dining table, with tons of sunlight coming through, him watching some stupid videos and me writing this post.
I'm happy its summer. I love summer. Its bright, sunny, colourful and I can wear what I want. On that note, I went to Cotton's last Sunday and broke my shopping resolve. Harem pants in many many colours, bright backless summer tops, what was not to love. So a part of my weekend plan is to wear these nice clothes.
It was the firm's community day yesterday. We went to a co-ed school in Islampur to paint their walls and make educational charts for them. I don't believe its very effective but I loved it just because I got to meet the little girls, we put up a performance and shared chocolates too.
Finally, here are some pictures of me and my life. Its funny, I feel safer posting here than on facebook.....
Lots of love,
Any way, that will come in piece meal.
I saw Love, Sex aur Dhoka last night and didn't think it was bad at all. There was of course the 'what's the point of it' reaction, but I never expect movies to make a point. If they can entertain me enough, or show me a new and effective form of storytellingc(as was done here), I'm satisfied. The topics were intense but not surprising. The actors were fabulous. I wish the Kareenas and Katrinas would see them.....would put them to shame.
Its the weekend, so I should have weekend plans too. Well at this moment, the flatmate is in Australia, the boyfriend and I are sitting at the dining table, with tons of sunlight coming through, him watching some stupid videos and me writing this post.
I'm happy its summer. I love summer. Its bright, sunny, colourful and I can wear what I want. On that note, I went to Cotton's last Sunday and broke my shopping resolve. Harem pants in many many colours, bright backless summer tops, what was not to love. So a part of my weekend plan is to wear these nice clothes.
It was the firm's community day yesterday. We went to a co-ed school in Islampur to paint their walls and make educational charts for them. I don't believe its very effective but I loved it just because I got to meet the little girls, we put up a performance and shared chocolates too.
Finally, here are some pictures of me and my life. Its funny, I feel safer posting here than on facebook.....
Lots of love,
Saturday, March 13, 2010
alone
There are days when something's on my mind. I just decide to sleep over it as i know the next morning will be bright enough to make them seem small. So I turn on my side, think about bright sunshine and start to drift into sleep. Then, there are some of these days, when a few minutes after i turn on my side, I feel tears trickling down my face. Lets not talk about it any more
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Announcing the 3rd big change.....
I have my own apartment!
Ok, so I share it with someone, but after over 2 years of living at home, I've moved out. Of course, I was more than happy living with the parents, who are awesome by the way. But I decided I need to learn to pay bills, clean my room, fold my own clothes, spend nights alone, share a glass of wine with myself, and hence, I did it.
The house: 3 bed rooms, beautiful, lots of natural light
The flatmate: Seems like fun so far. It helps that he's not desi, so my life's easier
The boyfriend: Now 12 kms closer
The job: Again, 12 kms closer
I gotta feeling, that this one's going to be awesome!
Ok, so I share it with someone, but after over 2 years of living at home, I've moved out. Of course, I was more than happy living with the parents, who are awesome by the way. But I decided I need to learn to pay bills, clean my room, fold my own clothes, spend nights alone, share a glass of wine with myself, and hence, I did it.
The house: 3 bed rooms, beautiful, lots of natural light
The flatmate: Seems like fun so far. It helps that he's not desi, so my life's easier
The boyfriend: Now 12 kms closer
The job: Again, 12 kms closer
I gotta feeling, that this one's going to be awesome!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Three big changes
Hello! Its Holi and I'm not celebrating. I don't mind celebrating once in a while but these days I really don't have many friends around who I'd enjoy playing with. Glass half full: I got my whole Monday to myself, with lots of chatting with mum and Dad, good food, plenty of zzzzz, and now 2 sets of work-outs in front of me.
So I decided to write because I'm experiencing a strange sense of pride. Now I'm not always larger than life and do have some small, cheap thrills too. Today, this relates to recent ka-chings. I have, recently, been excess-ing the shopping behaviour without even realizing the extent of the excess. I reached a point where my credit card bill for January reached over many lakhs, of which a large part was expensible but the rest was just my disposable income being handed over to evil hands like Bebe, Express and Nordstrom. I realized this 7 days back and decided to cut back on all expenses significantly, including indulgences beyond clothes and shoes. I'm happy I haven't used my credit card once since last monday and I don't intend to either. While saving money is the most obvious consequence, here are some other unintended benefits (and fallouts):
* Got a lot more sleep as all those afternoons I spend in shopping centers were saved
* Read a lot more, including Willian Dalrymple's Nine Lives
* Snooped around many many people of Facebook (hence, the use of the word fallouts)
* Re-visited the joys of Priya Cinema. This was not as straight forward. Mum wanted to watch KCK. We usually watch movies at Select City Walk or Ambience. This time, I had to avoud all temptations and hence, booked tickets at Priya.
* Exercised my brain a lot more- Peepu's in Miami and I need to think of things he can do on his free day, which don't involve shopping for me
1 week good going, lets see how this turns out.
The second big change in life has been straightening my eating habits. Now if you know me closely you'll know how I' ve tried every dieting tip and trick that exists. I'm not even close to fat, but of course, I have some excess all around. I'm maniacal about exercise but that's not enough and I do try to accelerate all efforts by introducing nasty diet regimes in between. Except that, after my stay at Ananda, I stopped it. I eat in the morning, have fewer cups of coffee during the day, have a filling lunch and ease out towards the end of the day. I haven't bothered checking the weighing scale but I can feel a lot more energy. Hopefully, this will go good too!
Finally, there's one more change which I'm shhhh about. It'll be final on Wednesday, after which I'll post it here but until then wait.
By the way, I didn't like Karthik Calling Karthik a bit. I was hoping for a colourful, fun and games sort of movie, and not another one about schizophrenics. Both issues close to my heart, but we need a halt to movies on schizophrenia and treatment of muslims in post-9/11 America and other such done to death issues
So I decided to write because I'm experiencing a strange sense of pride. Now I'm not always larger than life and do have some small, cheap thrills too. Today, this relates to recent ka-chings. I have, recently, been excess-ing the shopping behaviour without even realizing the extent of the excess. I reached a point where my credit card bill for January reached over many lakhs, of which a large part was expensible but the rest was just my disposable income being handed over to evil hands like Bebe, Express and Nordstrom. I realized this 7 days back and decided to cut back on all expenses significantly, including indulgences beyond clothes and shoes. I'm happy I haven't used my credit card once since last monday and I don't intend to either. While saving money is the most obvious consequence, here are some other unintended benefits (and fallouts):
* Got a lot more sleep as all those afternoons I spend in shopping centers were saved
* Read a lot more, including Willian Dalrymple's Nine Lives
* Snooped around many many people of Facebook (hence, the use of the word fallouts)
* Re-visited the joys of Priya Cinema. This was not as straight forward. Mum wanted to watch KCK. We usually watch movies at Select City Walk or Ambience. This time, I had to avoud all temptations and hence, booked tickets at Priya.
* Exercised my brain a lot more- Peepu's in Miami and I need to think of things he can do on his free day, which don't involve shopping for me
1 week good going, lets see how this turns out.
The second big change in life has been straightening my eating habits. Now if you know me closely you'll know how I' ve tried every dieting tip and trick that exists. I'm not even close to fat, but of course, I have some excess all around. I'm maniacal about exercise but that's not enough and I do try to accelerate all efforts by introducing nasty diet regimes in between. Except that, after my stay at Ananda, I stopped it. I eat in the morning, have fewer cups of coffee during the day, have a filling lunch and ease out towards the end of the day. I haven't bothered checking the weighing scale but I can feel a lot more energy. Hopefully, this will go good too!
Finally, there's one more change which I'm shhhh about. It'll be final on Wednesday, after which I'll post it here but until then wait.
By the way, I didn't like Karthik Calling Karthik a bit. I was hoping for a colourful, fun and games sort of movie, and not another one about schizophrenics. Both issues close to my heart, but we need a halt to movies on schizophrenia and treatment of muslims in post-9/11 America and other such done to death issues
Friday, February 26, 2010
Some times all I want to write about....
.... is being loud enough to bring the building down.
The music is Bad Company
The music is Bad Company
Sunday, February 21, 2010
White foam….
….On my legs, my feet, the rest of me, as I lie in the hot tub, overlooking a Himalayan valley from my window, nearly falling asleep from the intense smell of the shower wash. I’m at Ananda for a day and I’m loving it.
We met Sophiya on our train here. She is Greek but lives in Manhattan, and now working with an NGO down South. She used to be a lawyer in one of the bigger Law firms in London, nearing a Partner promotion, when she decided she didn’t like it and moved in to the NGO space. She had 2 rough weeks and decided to take a break, here in Ananda- 5 days alone, with a box full of books. I want to be a woman like her. In the little time I knew her, I was inspired. Not because she left her job, but because she came here by herself, spent a bomb but did it because she loves herself.
The man who made this place had foresight because this place can make the worst of us want to cleanse ourselves. When I got here, I had a light meal after which I headed to my room for yoga. But today rather than doing the warm-up in my room, I ran 2 kms, along the path that encircles this marvellous piece of land. I came back, opened the windows, took my top off and continued my yoga. Quite a happy switch no, that just a month back I had wind blowing on my face while I did yoga, facing the Marina, the lavish swimming pool and a grand view of Los Angeles. Today, I could hear my breath in silence that dominated the balcony facing the deep Himalayan valley. (I’ll attach photos tomorrow)
When I finished my workout, I decided to step into the foamy bathtub. I had a magazine to read but it soon lots its relevance as the white foam took over my thoughts and sent me back a few weeks, months and years.
While I was living these last few years, I knew these were years that should be recorded, which is why I first started this blog. It’s unfortunate that my work didn’t let me keep this up and I’ve missed recording the best few months. I haven’t been entirely aloof and did update this space with the significant happenings in life. But there has been more.
There have been
• Professional ups and downs, with work improving significantly in the second half of last year, but depressing me lately, due to lack of inspiration
• Personal highs: What can I say here? I’ve never been closer to my family, my friends are all here with me and I’m hopelessly in love
• Weight loss and weight gain and weight loss: A monthly subscription to Prevention magazine, obsessively collecting health articles, a sporadic exercise regime and I’m still at it
• Plenty of travel including London, Paris, Amsterdam, Brighton, Raleigh, New York, Los Angeles and soon Thailand- Like I never imagined! It’s been on since November and like its never been. I’ve loved every bit of it though there have been lonely moments and tiring moments.
• Old relationships getting significantly stronger (touchwood!!!)
• Passion in our wanderings, intense days, romantic evenings, sleepy nights: They say good friends make good lovers and I’m all for it! In between our intense working schedules, we’ve managed it all, including an evening best remembered for 1 tiny joint, 36 chicken wings and a hostel room in Amsterdam that said: Some salt, sugar?
• Most importantly, the feeling that I’m no longer running away from the past. A few events in the past pulled me down and made it difficult for me to live well. Today I own my past and I’m in control of the impact it has on me. When the past faces me, I look at it and smile, almost condescendingly, converse with it and ask to be excused, leaving no form of regret behind. When I turn to leave, I can feel the big black beast still looking at me, hoping I’ll weaken. What a feeling… Of course, I’ve never felt better about having a middle finger !
On the side, I’ve started building a travel diary. It’s no different from a blog, but here I write more. I write about places I visit, people I meet, my emotional frame, my physical feelings, my thoughts, observations and points of view.
Finally, this post is dedicated to Thakore, who pushed me to write again
And for old times' sake, the music is Time After Time
We met Sophiya on our train here. She is Greek but lives in Manhattan, and now working with an NGO down South. She used to be a lawyer in one of the bigger Law firms in London, nearing a Partner promotion, when she decided she didn’t like it and moved in to the NGO space. She had 2 rough weeks and decided to take a break, here in Ananda- 5 days alone, with a box full of books. I want to be a woman like her. In the little time I knew her, I was inspired. Not because she left her job, but because she came here by herself, spent a bomb but did it because she loves herself.
The man who made this place had foresight because this place can make the worst of us want to cleanse ourselves. When I got here, I had a light meal after which I headed to my room for yoga. But today rather than doing the warm-up in my room, I ran 2 kms, along the path that encircles this marvellous piece of land. I came back, opened the windows, took my top off and continued my yoga. Quite a happy switch no, that just a month back I had wind blowing on my face while I did yoga, facing the Marina, the lavish swimming pool and a grand view of Los Angeles. Today, I could hear my breath in silence that dominated the balcony facing the deep Himalayan valley. (I’ll attach photos tomorrow)
When I finished my workout, I decided to step into the foamy bathtub. I had a magazine to read but it soon lots its relevance as the white foam took over my thoughts and sent me back a few weeks, months and years.
While I was living these last few years, I knew these were years that should be recorded, which is why I first started this blog. It’s unfortunate that my work didn’t let me keep this up and I’ve missed recording the best few months. I haven’t been entirely aloof and did update this space with the significant happenings in life. But there has been more.
There have been
• Professional ups and downs, with work improving significantly in the second half of last year, but depressing me lately, due to lack of inspiration
• Personal highs: What can I say here? I’ve never been closer to my family, my friends are all here with me and I’m hopelessly in love
• Weight loss and weight gain and weight loss: A monthly subscription to Prevention magazine, obsessively collecting health articles, a sporadic exercise regime and I’m still at it
• Plenty of travel including London, Paris, Amsterdam, Brighton, Raleigh, New York, Los Angeles and soon Thailand- Like I never imagined! It’s been on since November and like its never been. I’ve loved every bit of it though there have been lonely moments and tiring moments.
• Old relationships getting significantly stronger (touchwood!!!)
• Passion in our wanderings, intense days, romantic evenings, sleepy nights: They say good friends make good lovers and I’m all for it! In between our intense working schedules, we’ve managed it all, including an evening best remembered for 1 tiny joint, 36 chicken wings and a hostel room in Amsterdam that said: Some salt, sugar?
• Most importantly, the feeling that I’m no longer running away from the past. A few events in the past pulled me down and made it difficult for me to live well. Today I own my past and I’m in control of the impact it has on me. When the past faces me, I look at it and smile, almost condescendingly, converse with it and ask to be excused, leaving no form of regret behind. When I turn to leave, I can feel the big black beast still looking at me, hoping I’ll weaken. What a feeling… Of course, I’ve never felt better about having a middle finger !
On the side, I’ve started building a travel diary. It’s no different from a blog, but here I write more. I write about places I visit, people I meet, my emotional frame, my physical feelings, my thoughts, observations and points of view.
Finally, this post is dedicated to Thakore, who pushed me to write again
And for old times' sake, the music is Time After Time
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