Sunday, February 21, 2010

White foam….

….On my legs, my feet, the rest of me, as I lie in the hot tub, overlooking a Himalayan valley from my window, nearly falling asleep from the intense smell of the shower wash. I’m at Ananda for a day and I’m loving it.

We met Sophiya on our train here. She is Greek but lives in Manhattan, and now working with an NGO down South. She used to be a lawyer in one of the bigger Law firms in London, nearing a Partner promotion, when she decided she didn’t like it and moved in to the NGO space. She had 2 rough weeks and decided to take a break, here in Ananda- 5 days alone, with a box full of books. I want to be a woman like her. In the little time I knew her, I was inspired. Not because she left her job, but because she came here by herself, spent a bomb but did it because she loves herself.

The man who made this place had foresight because this place can make the worst of us want to cleanse ourselves. When I got here, I had a light meal after which I headed to my room for yoga. But today rather than doing the warm-up in my room, I ran 2 kms, along the path that encircles this marvellous piece of land. I came back, opened the windows, took my top off and continued my yoga. Quite a happy switch no, that just a month back I had wind blowing on my face while I did yoga, facing the Marina, the lavish swimming pool and a grand view of Los Angeles. Today, I could hear my breath in silence that dominated the balcony facing the deep Himalayan valley. (I’ll attach photos tomorrow)

When I finished my workout, I decided to step into the foamy bathtub. I had a magazine to read but it soon lots its relevance as the white foam took over my thoughts and sent me back a few weeks, months and years.

While I was living these last few years, I knew these were years that should be recorded, which is why I first started this blog. It’s unfortunate that my work didn’t let me keep this up and I’ve missed recording the best few months. I haven’t been entirely aloof and did update this space with the significant happenings in life. But there has been more.

There have been

• Professional ups and downs, with work improving significantly in the second half of last year, but depressing me lately, due to lack of inspiration
• Personal highs: What can I say here? I’ve never been closer to my family, my friends are all here with me and I’m hopelessly in love
• Weight loss and weight gain and weight loss: A monthly subscription to Prevention magazine, obsessively collecting health articles, a sporadic exercise regime and I’m still at it
• Plenty of travel including London, Paris, Amsterdam, Brighton, Raleigh, New York, Los Angeles and soon Thailand- Like I never imagined! It’s been on since November and like its never been. I’ve loved every bit of it though there have been lonely moments and tiring moments.
• Old relationships getting significantly stronger (touchwood!!!)
• Passion in our wanderings, intense days, romantic evenings, sleepy nights: They say good friends make good lovers and I’m all for it! In between our intense working schedules, we’ve managed it all, including an evening best remembered for 1 tiny joint, 36 chicken wings and a hostel room in Amsterdam that said: Some salt, sugar?
• Most importantly, the feeling that I’m no longer running away from the past. A few events in the past pulled me down and made it difficult for me to live well. Today I own my past and I’m in control of the impact it has on me. When the past faces me, I look at it and smile, almost condescendingly, converse with it and ask to be excused, leaving no form of regret behind. When I turn to leave, I can feel the big black beast still looking at me, hoping I’ll weaken. What a feeling… Of course, I’ve never felt better about having a middle finger !

On the side, I’ve started building a travel diary. It’s no different from a blog, but here I write more. I write about places I visit, people I meet, my emotional frame, my physical feelings, my thoughts, observations and points of view.

Finally, this post is dedicated to Thakore, who pushed me to write again

And for old times' sake, the music is Time After Time

4 comments:

SGB said...

welcome back ! loved the part about the middle finger! very happy for you..

The White Phoenix said...

phinally duniya ghoom kar aa hi gayee !!!
Awesome time you are the havings. Cheers

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