Wednesday morning, 7:29 am. I just finished Yoga but before I run into the shower, I want to put this down.
Some times we get so pulled down by smaller things that aren't working out for us, we lose the bigger picture. After a long conversation on complex matters of the heart with Peepu last night, I was all ready for 7 hours of undisturbed sleep. I woke an hour and a quarter back, and realized I had dreamt several times last night, of imaginary situations where matters of the heart pull me down. My first thought after waking up this morning was "what about all those big dreams?".
Really, what about them? when will they come back in to claim their rightful place? when, along the line, did life become all about conversations, Friday beer and matters if the heart?
I have to go and shower now....but I'm wondering if I should light the fire
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Just because....I love U2 (no, not you too!)
Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I think I’ll die at an airport
Hahahaha! Have you ever met a VP Finance & Strategy of a world leading company who tells you he’s at the airport to catch a flight to Delhi where he’s going to meet a girl who he has been chatting with on the phone for over a month? He’s probably a little less than 50 and the girl is half his age- they met over a wrong number. He moved from the Southern hemisphere to Bangalore only a month back, and in his first week met this wonderful sardarni on the phone. He used to be married and has two boys- in their mid-teens. He loves his two sons, who he managed to steal from their mother after she left him to live with another man. Of course, I say ‘steal’ because he went under cover with his sons for a few years, until he came back and surrendered and this time, won his sons back through lawfully- fair and square!
We were on the same Spice Jet flight. I wasn’t going to believe he was VP when I saw him at the Spice Jet counter, until I realized he probably didn’t believe I was a senior consultant for the same reason. I spent 3 hours with him at the airport. He also gave me pointers on driving from Cape Town to Cairo. I’ve dreamt of it for 18 months now, I’ve GOT to do it in the next 12. Any way, I hope he has a nice evening with his phone friend.
I’m flying back to Delhi and haven’t waited for a weekend as much as I’m waiting for this one. Nothing special, I just have lots to get done. Plus, I think I’m too non-desi and feel like I need to get a few colourful salwar kurtas. Also, I think it’s awesome that I haven’t shopped in over a few months. I’m no anti-shopper. I like new clothes a lot- like my white dress, its got to be great, since it’s the second time I’m blogging about it in 2 weeks. But I don’t like how clothes and shoes have become the latest members of people’s lives. Any way, I don’t like most forms of obsession. Music and movies are totally forgivable though! Ok ok ok, we all have our vices and I just named mine. (On obsessions, music is totally my biggest obsession. I’m pretty sure this has something to do with why I say ‘pardon me’ 300 times a day. I like movies a lot too, but this is recent. In the last 12 months, I have tried to make up for the 25 years of virtually 10 movies. Contrary to what most people think, I’m not addicted to books. I like reading but I’m not a crazy reader who would die without a book. I carry a book most of the time but its because you never know where you get stuck. I like maps a lot, and hence the sense of direction of a police dog.I have less than 30 pairs of shoes, and every time I buy a new pair, I dispose one off. I do have a lot of clothes, running into several hundreds, but that’s more because I take very good care of them, and I still fit into what I wore at 17. Plus, I never really follow crazy fashions, so very few things in there are unwearable. I like body oils and lotions, but can do without them again, especially those that make you smell like a candy store or strawberry tart. I do like those with a neutral smell a lot- Clinique, C&E, Forest Essentials and Victoria’s secret’s non-fruit collection. I’m addicted to coffee, and all I can say to all those cancer warnings is ‘whatta way to go!’. A few things I’m not addicted to but I’m unlikely to give up….ever: Cheese, beer and love. Now of course, if I develop an allergy to milk products, get diagnosed with liver infection or have my heart removed, I’ll have to, but lets all fold our hands and pray that never happens).
Bangalore was great! My clients are fabulous. The main person I interact with is twice my age, Southern Eastern, from Jacksonville I think, and we get along great. We have quite a bit in common. We are both very close to our families. Just like me, he likes the Mid-west a lot more than the East coast and he finds Bangalore free-spirited too. He also treats religion as very private, and likes my country just the way I like his. Soon, I’ll head to Naperville again, on the other side of the world.
I’m pressing my palm against the warm window on the plane, and the light of the setting sun. I’m listening to Trouble Sleeping, from the O.C. The song reminds me of all the wonderful times I’ve had trouble sleeping, because, as the song goes, I’ve been thinking about what you said. Many of us find our nights full of movement, characterized by lack of long, sound sleep. Some have nightmares, some have panic attacks, and some just use the restroom too often. I wake up too, but for none of these reasons. I just wake up to walk up to the window and think about what you said. I won’t share the song, but listen to it any way, and live my life- just for one night. Don’t do it if you aren’t alone.
We were on the same Spice Jet flight. I wasn’t going to believe he was VP when I saw him at the Spice Jet counter, until I realized he probably didn’t believe I was a senior consultant for the same reason. I spent 3 hours with him at the airport. He also gave me pointers on driving from Cape Town to Cairo. I’ve dreamt of it for 18 months now, I’ve GOT to do it in the next 12. Any way, I hope he has a nice evening with his phone friend.
I’m flying back to Delhi and haven’t waited for a weekend as much as I’m waiting for this one. Nothing special, I just have lots to get done. Plus, I think I’m too non-desi and feel like I need to get a few colourful salwar kurtas. Also, I think it’s awesome that I haven’t shopped in over a few months. I’m no anti-shopper. I like new clothes a lot- like my white dress, its got to be great, since it’s the second time I’m blogging about it in 2 weeks. But I don’t like how clothes and shoes have become the latest members of people’s lives. Any way, I don’t like most forms of obsession. Music and movies are totally forgivable though! Ok ok ok, we all have our vices and I just named mine. (On obsessions, music is totally my biggest obsession. I’m pretty sure this has something to do with why I say ‘pardon me’ 300 times a day. I like movies a lot too, but this is recent. In the last 12 months, I have tried to make up for the 25 years of virtually 10 movies. Contrary to what most people think, I’m not addicted to books. I like reading but I’m not a crazy reader who would die without a book. I carry a book most of the time but its because you never know where you get stuck. I like maps a lot, and hence the sense of direction of a police dog.I have less than 30 pairs of shoes, and every time I buy a new pair, I dispose one off. I do have a lot of clothes, running into several hundreds, but that’s more because I take very good care of them, and I still fit into what I wore at 17. Plus, I never really follow crazy fashions, so very few things in there are unwearable. I like body oils and lotions, but can do without them again, especially those that make you smell like a candy store or strawberry tart. I do like those with a neutral smell a lot- Clinique, C&E, Forest Essentials and Victoria’s secret’s non-fruit collection. I’m addicted to coffee, and all I can say to all those cancer warnings is ‘whatta way to go!’. A few things I’m not addicted to but I’m unlikely to give up….ever: Cheese, beer and love. Now of course, if I develop an allergy to milk products, get diagnosed with liver infection or have my heart removed, I’ll have to, but lets all fold our hands and pray that never happens).
Bangalore was great! My clients are fabulous. The main person I interact with is twice my age, Southern Eastern, from Jacksonville I think, and we get along great. We have quite a bit in common. We are both very close to our families. Just like me, he likes the Mid-west a lot more than the East coast and he finds Bangalore free-spirited too. He also treats religion as very private, and likes my country just the way I like his. Soon, I’ll head to Naperville again, on the other side of the world.
I’m pressing my palm against the warm window on the plane, and the light of the setting sun. I’m listening to Trouble Sleeping, from the O.C. The song reminds me of all the wonderful times I’ve had trouble sleeping, because, as the song goes, I’ve been thinking about what you said. Many of us find our nights full of movement, characterized by lack of long, sound sleep. Some have nightmares, some have panic attacks, and some just use the restroom too often. I wake up too, but for none of these reasons. I just wake up to walk up to the window and think about what you said. I won’t share the song, but listen to it any way, and live my life- just for one night. Don’t do it if you aren’t alone.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
airport diaries
You walk towards the check-in counter at the airport and run into old connections, those you knew through old love. You smile at them, but know the lump in your throat will soon appear and make you falter on the next few lines. After all, he probably knows of how closure happened. You exchange a few words, still waiting for the lump in your throat, or fumbled sentences or even a sudden hot flash. But it doesn't happen this time. You think,"when did I become so cool?!" You smile, you don't feel the need to talk much further- you've done the minimum. You walk along, run into colleagues, laugh over coffee and talk about the day ahead.
Its no great accomplishment- it has been really long you know, but come onnnnn, its cute no?
On my flight to chennai-land, taking off!
Its no great accomplishment- it has been really long you know, but come onnnnn, its cute no?
On my flight to chennai-land, taking off!
Weekend blues
I had a horrible, horrible weekend. Here's why:
1. Friday night was fun, with a few of us stuck at work and plenty (or rather, some) beer to keep us going. But then it suddenly changed. I ended very grumpy by the end of the night. Of course, I finally reached home at 3 am, which lays grounds for the second reason for why the weekend sucked.
2. I woke up at past 11 am on Saturday, which is awful. I wasted half my Saturday. I absolutely HATE slothful weekends. Yes, stuck up as some would say, but guess what, I don't care. I'm not one for sleeping in till noon. I'm an amry kid, and I love to wake up in time, shower, step out regardless of how bad the weather is, spend a few hours in a coffee shop, have lunch...and still have half the day left ahead.
3. I went to the salon and realized I had left my wallet in office the night before. Thankfully, Sonali was able to come by in less than 10 and pick my tab. God bless good friends. Obviously, mum had, by then, stressed her last few black hair out, as if my wallet had some 10 lakhs in it.
4. So later the evening, I had my yoga session. And it was the most painful ever, because mum, maasi (who's visiting ) would just not stop interrupting. So eff-ing painful. I love mum, but all I ask is for an hour a day. For someone who has lived away from home for most of her twenties, living at home has its occasional moments of immense frustration.
5. Remember the wallet I had left behind at work. So later last night, we went over to Sonali's for her pre-birthday party. It was good fun except that I had geneuinely wanted to com back in time because I did have a lot of shit to finish this weekend. But since I didn't have my wallet, I didn't have my license, and I was finally dropped back home at 3 am.
6. Hence, Sunday morning got eff-ed too!
7. I just wrapped up another painful Yoga session because this time, my neighbour came and stopped me in between. And that was it! Some times there's massive downside to having an image of being respectful to older neighbour aunties. Plus, I'm completing two years of living with the folks- can not go on forever!
8. Lastly (I hope this is the last dampener for this weekend. I am left with 7 hours you know), I had something on my mind for a few weeks now- which is a pretty long time for me. I left it behind me now. I'll stay the course.
1. Friday night was fun, with a few of us stuck at work and plenty (or rather, some) beer to keep us going. But then it suddenly changed. I ended very grumpy by the end of the night. Of course, I finally reached home at 3 am, which lays grounds for the second reason for why the weekend sucked.
2. I woke up at past 11 am on Saturday, which is awful. I wasted half my Saturday. I absolutely HATE slothful weekends. Yes, stuck up as some would say, but guess what, I don't care. I'm not one for sleeping in till noon. I'm an amry kid, and I love to wake up in time, shower, step out regardless of how bad the weather is, spend a few hours in a coffee shop, have lunch...and still have half the day left ahead.
3. I went to the salon and realized I had left my wallet in office the night before. Thankfully, Sonali was able to come by in less than 10 and pick my tab. God bless good friends. Obviously, mum had, by then, stressed her last few black hair out, as if my wallet had some 10 lakhs in it.
4. So later the evening, I had my yoga session. And it was the most painful ever, because mum, maasi (who's visiting ) would just not stop interrupting. So eff-ing painful. I love mum, but all I ask is for an hour a day. For someone who has lived away from home for most of her twenties, living at home has its occasional moments of immense frustration.
5. Remember the wallet I had left behind at work. So later last night, we went over to Sonali's for her pre-birthday party. It was good fun except that I had geneuinely wanted to com back in time because I did have a lot of shit to finish this weekend. But since I didn't have my wallet, I didn't have my license, and I was finally dropped back home at 3 am.
6. Hence, Sunday morning got eff-ed too!
7. I just wrapped up another painful Yoga session because this time, my neighbour came and stopped me in between. And that was it! Some times there's massive downside to having an image of being respectful to older neighbour aunties. Plus, I'm completing two years of living with the folks- can not go on forever!
8. Lastly (I hope this is the last dampener for this weekend. I am left with 7 hours you know), I had something on my mind for a few weeks now- which is a pretty long time for me. I left it behind me now. I'll stay the course.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
QQQQQQQ.........a...a...a..with a shaky explanation
I'm so confused! Should I? Should I not? Do I believe it is? Do I believe its not? Am I ready? Or is it that I'm not? Does it make sense? is it nonsensical? Is it just me? Probably. Is it worth thinking about? Or is it worth dissing? I think there's a bit at risk. Or is there? Or should I wait? May be I'll wait. Yeah, that sounds right. I'll wait. For what? to get away? Yes, its nicer that way. And may be it won't even remain a question when I'm away. And it won't come up. Right, and noone will know a thing. Not me, not you, and we'll live happily ever after....
Friday, June 12, 2009
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