Confidence city

And the day I re-read the 'After Scotland Yard' Chapter, Delhi's shaken. 5 blasts across Connaught Place, GK and Gaffar market have rocked the city. All plans are cancelled, there are bloody scenes all over news channels, women are being carried to the hospital by the locals, cops are selfessly trying find the 9th bomb, messages are pouring in from friends and family , there is extreme quiet in the city. And then there are small things that have us worried.

And then we know, tomorrow those worries will come back. The city will be back and running. Alive and Kicking, as the cliche goes! Women will shop in GK, counterfiet mobile phones will be bought in Gaffar, the metro will run, house parties shall happen, the bodies will heal, may be the hearts won't. Really, will it all be normal soon? I don't care if its Hindus or Muslims, fanatics or normal people....they are trying to stop life in Delhi (Pth: I could go on about religeon, but its enough to say I'm a part of the camp that believes we should go easy on god). This is terror. When you're scared on going for a movie on the weekend, for a fanatic may be planting his next accomplishment there. Isn't that the entire purpose of what they call terrorism- to terrorize the shit out of a perfectly innocent and vibrant set of people! I don't think I want to let that happen to me. I'd rather die of a bomb in a bar, than of fear or boredom at home. Mighty aggressive statement from me! The fun and games shall carry on!

The music.....Khuda Ke Liye

In one day....

Happiness: Non-straight hair looks good
Sadness: Despite the diet, the skirt doesn’t fit
Happiness: Skin is glowing, all thanks to the toner
Sadness: No good music on FM this morning
Happiness: Find parking in L1
Sadness: Backpack breaks on the way from the car park
Happiness: 6 flights of stairs and no loss of breath
Sadness: Press the option for Cappuccino instead of Espresso, and not to waste
Happiness: Win music quiz
Sadness: Case work re-starts after a day’s break
Happiness: Finalize Wine tasting in Nasik
Sadness: Need to leave on Sunday instead of Monday
Happiness: 5 days in Goa that follow the wine tasting trip
Sadness: Not thin enough for new swimwear
Happiness: Apple pie for lunch
Sadness: The afterthought
Happiness: Sort out nasty email from
Sadness: New supervisor seems hierarchical
Happiness: Thursday beer appears achievable
Sadness: Parents call saying they expect me to accompany them to a wedding; beer plans cancelled
Happiness: The wedding is a friend’s and I get myself excited about it
Sadness: Turns out to be his brother’s, not his (Yeah, I’m not tuned in)
Happiness: Win foosball amateur level-I against 2 big boys
Sadness: Cancel beer plans to attend wrong wedding
Happiness: I like the smile.....
Sadness: I convince myself I’m being superficial. And succeed
Happiness: Leave office early, and drive in the rain
Sadness: Asshole taxi driver smashes the front of the car (extreme sadness followed by sobbing, followed by bawling- in the rain, on the highway, in a skirt, and a wet shirt, and more Gurgaon cabbies savouring the show. Bastards! )
Happiness: Mum and Dad are lovely, especially after accidents. And I am excused for not wanting to go for the wedding
Sadness: Still, the car. All the sweat and blood that went into buying it. Sob!
Happiness: Pizza and diet coke (Thin, whole wheat crust, with extra cheese)
Sadness: The 7 day diet becomes the 6 day diet
Happiness: School friend, who I haven’t met in 10 years, calls twice
Sadness: I miss his calls, and then can’t get through to him
Happiness: Its Friday tomorrow, and weekend fun begins
Sadness: The move is more real
Happiness: Nomadic life continues
Sadness: The sad moments it sometimes brings
Happiness: The excitement shan’t end so soon

The music.....Kiss Me....

My Oyster

Sunday morning, 4 a.m, just ended a IM conversation, potentially an asshole IM conversation. You know how when I'm sad, I'm really good to the world. And when I'm happy, everything, including IM is an asshole.

Coco Chanel one said “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”....lets make it three things: Smart, Classy and Fabulous. And the world is your oyster. Go on, and get high, and do whatever you want to do. Sounds familiar, eh? No? Google it!

The music....no surprises...The Cranberries

And today I want everything!!

So it’s the first time I get to spend 5 whole days in Bombay on this case. Although I had asked for a Bombay case, I got staffed on one that brought me to Bombay every Tuesday and took me back on Thursday. But this was a nicer, longer week in Bombay. And this week I landed here on Sunday. My friends from B school were here for 3 days. Yes, I did have some friends in Business School. While we’re on that, let me explain my relationship with my B school. This is a big Pth:

I wasn’t meant to go to Business school. I wanted to do a Masters in Arts, but as luck would have it, I cracked the CAT and got into this premier school. No mean feat, but I never thought it was my ‘aha’ moment. I don’t particularly like the world of business. So B school was actually 2 years where life went out of track, and I landed in a place where I had very little in common with people around me, in terms of background, outlook, dressing style, and dreams. But nevertheless, I loved some of those people. My job s such that it leads me to believe that life established its equilibrium by getting me this job, where although I talk business, I’m not constrained in any way. I’m free to follow everything I’m passionate about, and even develop new passions almost every couple of months. I’m free to dream. I’m free to not be a slave to time. Sooooooo….. some of those B school friends who I adore, were in town. And that brought me to Bombay.

So back to Bombay- Its Ganpati Puja today, so my client’s office was shut. My team is in Delhi and I’m alone, working (seemingly) from my hotel room. Again, I can never say this enough, I love hotel rooms. I love not having home cooked food. I love the ‘alone time’ I get even though I spent most of it working today. I love how I can always make myself a cup of chai thanks to the tea bags and the kettle. Hey, you know I love kettles too. Through college, I had one in my room (even thought I lived at home). I had one in B school. Mum gifted it to me because she knew it would bring immense joy to me. I had one in Singapore. And Malaysia. I had one hidden in my office drawers as well. It’s a wonderful reminder of the nomadic life I want to live. I find chai made on the stove a bit threatening. I feel domesticated. So back to my hotel room- I’m alone, hungry and full of thoughts.

I love the pillow I’ve rested my chest on while I write, lying on my stomach with this computer in my face. I wish I had such a pillow in my room at home too. I wish for a lot of other things…..

I wish the city of Bombay never loses its energy, and its big city lights that give me a fantastic view from this room
I wish the yellow envelope with the red star that shows up on my phone every time I have a new message, always makes me that happy
I wish I could have spent more time in Delhi University
I wish I was thinner….and my nose was thinner
I wish my curly hair would grow back without much pain
I wish I had a clearer idea of my dream and the way there
I wish all work-in-progress would end: my WIP slides, my client’s phenomenal WIP cost and every other WIP
I wish every parent would learn from mine
I wish every girl would use toner (Ok, I discovered it a month back, and really, wow!)
I wish Indian men would dress better, smell better and open their minds up
I wish the same for Indian women too
I wish there were more firms in the world that kept their people so happy
I wish the 2 year rule, which is actually a 1 year rule, was a 6 months rule. They say it takes 2 (read 1) years to settle into a new city, to settle into a new job and to get over someone you loved. I’d have more conviction about moving to Bombay, would have worked significantly fewer hours in Malaysia, and saved myself precious 6 months
I wish some people on the other side of the world would know, that evening actually ended well, and their tolerance that evening helped me wipe out a long period of sadness and doubt. And that I still think they’re great. And I still think I too am
I wish I was better at Poker
I wish I could post the 3 pages I wrote on the flight last week
I wish my laugh was louder
I wish ‘taking ownership’ was not just a tenet my firm is maniacal about, I wish it were a guideline for life
I wish people would stop talking about markets, bonuses and trades during Saturday lunches. Like some of us really don’t care!
I wish there were more people that appreciation for one’s creation gives far more joy than appreciation for one’s looks
I wish people around me would stop justifying cheating. Its NOT done. Call me uncool- Still not done (in my catty voice!!)
I wish yellow dresses never go out of style. And nor do short shorts. And big round earrings
I wish girls knew make-up is bad for the skin
I wish I understood smoking, even occasional smoking, is worse for women than men
I wish I had gone on exchange and not given that up like a fool
I wish Dire Straits had sung more songs. And U2. And Led Zep. Ok, Led Zep did a lot. So no
I wish Sanjay Uncle had lived longer, and I had been able to meet him again
I wish Shiv would be the same good friend again
I wish I wasn’t paranoid that the ‘I believe’ song is unlucky for me

I could so go on…..but I’ll stop. I’m clearly not clear on the difference between wish and hope….

I wish if I had just one wish, it wouldn’t be any of these. It would be that honesty never bit you in your face. And all ended well.

The music……Close your eyes…and Count to Ten, Ben Onono